My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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