This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
