I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
