So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
