my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
