we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
