This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
