Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
