blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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