Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
