i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize