Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
