i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
