you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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