Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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