btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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