I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
