I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
