My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
