I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
