shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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