I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
