he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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