I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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