Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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