i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I don't think brook has ever known best
my sisters under your porch take her home
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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