the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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