Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
