I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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