I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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