walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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