I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
