i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
