what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
