2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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