Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
What a dumb baby whore.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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