I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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