are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
