let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
