discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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