Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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