chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
