Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
