we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's always time for handjobs
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
