The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
