Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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