I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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