you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
