Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
