dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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